Living in Fear….continued

DAY 20:

Now that some time has passed I am able to look back with a more reflective approach to the situation and with the added steer and purpose of this particular post I can unpick the concept of living in fear using this unfortunate scenario as my catalyst.

If we look at all the people involved in the unfolding situation, the demographics of those specifically experiencing fear were a Dad, his two young children, other shoppers in the store, shop staff, passers by on the street an ultimately me too. Even though I never felt under threat directly there was something unsettling about the mob mentality that piqued my fight to flight mechanism. There is one group of people who I haven’t mentioned yet and who may also have been living in fear even though they acted as the protagonists in this particular scenario.

The aggressors, who we will have assumed were not in fear because they presented themselves as the visible threat. Our natural instincts tell us that if one group of people provide a threat then the recipients will fulfill the role of those in defence and subsequently, fearful. However, the aggressors could easily have been acting out of fear also. Not that this excuses their actions but it did give me cause to question why young men/boys of this age are implementing behaviours like this and in this way.

They clearly have the wrong set of influences or influencers…their points of references of what it means to be a man have been skewed. With incidents like this taking place on our doorsteps it’s imperative that we have more discussions with our boys about what it really means to be a man in today’s society so that the reach of toxic socials does not irrevocably damage them.

If men can continue to talk more openly we can teach our boys how to bring sensitivity and awareness into their daily lives and they won’t have to grow into men who feel the need to prove themselves in such stereotypical ways, which are based on outdated versions of man. As Bob Hoskins used to say; ‘It’s good to talk’